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New Super Mario Bros. Wii has the Super Guide, in case you ever want the game to autopilot for you, but it also has a whole collection of video tips you can view before a gaming session.

The “hint movies” are all located inside Peach’s Castle and have to be unlocked with Star Coins. Here’s a sample.

Be warned, this does show an entire level in the game.

If you’re intrigued, check out our full game review here.

Valve’s back, following its hilarious Team Fortress 2 Valentines from last year,with four sets of gift cards featuring characters from TF2, Left 4 Dead, and L4D2 that are simply a holiday must.

They’re slam-packed with in-game memes - Pyro’s speechlessness, Demo-Man getting lit on egg nog, and Spy romancing Scout’s mom under the mistletoe. Each set is $15.95 - a steep price to confuse your family, or a bargain to wow your friends, your choice.

2009 Holiday Card Collection [Steam via VG247]

The finale from Raiders of the Lost Ark, as interpreted by Lego Indiana Jones 2, has been posted and, unlike the witty rendering of the Nepal shootout, this one’s sanitized to the point of condescension. Disco-dancing replaces face-melting. Yes, really.

I get that this is a family title, and blood or gore would be inappropriate, gratuitous or otherwise. But seriously, the wrathful spirit makes the Nazis line-dance? Really? They got permission for cartoon violence in the rating, can’t it just, I dunno, blast them into several pieces? Maybe a ginormous Lego spirit who comically stomps them flat? Do something funnier than this? Wow. Some payoff.

Lego Indiana Jones 2 [CBS News.com via VG247]

We deal with “midnight” a lot as an embargo time, and you know, it’s always confusing. Valve knows, and has laid out specifically when Left 4 Dead 2 (PC) will unlock in all the major time zones of the world.

Says Valve, on the L4D2 blog:

Due to an ongoing debate in the office and online as to whether “12 AM” means noon or midnight (we’re still sticking with midnight), it’s been more challenging than we realized to tell people when exactly our game will be available. Factor in the Earth rotating around the sun, daylight savings time, some of our fans insisting on using the Mayan calendar, and we’re just going to try and make this as specific as possible:

Alright, ready? Get out your pens, flip open your calendars, synchronize your watches, take your index finger and stick it in the middle of your palm to form a sundial, however you keep time. Here’s when Left 4 Dead 2 unlocks:

• Monday, Nov. 16, 9 p.m. Pacific Standard Time
• Monday, Nov. 16, 10 p.m. Mountain Standard Time
• Monday, Nov. 16, 11 p.m. Central Standard Time
• Tuesday, Nov. 17, 12 a.m. (midnight) Eastern Standard Time
• Tuesday, Nov. 17, 5 a.m. Greenwich Mean Time
• Tuesday, Nov. 17, 8 a.m. Moscow Time
• Tuesday, Nov. 17, 2 p.m. Japan Standard Time

As you can see, the U.S. west coast gets a three-hour head start (technically) against the console street date, London and Moscow will be getting up or on the train to work, and Tokyo’s hosed. Hey, I don’t make the rules.

Now that we’ve cleared that up, you might want to pre-load that six-gigabyte sucker, so that you’re not waiting an additional zillion hours to download the game on unlock day.

A Slight Clarification … [Left 4 Dead Blog via VE3D]

Conflict currency - it’s not cash, but goods or valuables that are small, easily liquidated, easily smuggled. Diamonds are the classic example. We might have to add Modern Warfare 2 to the list, after what just went down in Pennsylvania.

Cops in Meadville, Pa. say a man went into a Gamestop there at 7 p.m. on Tuesday, informed the clerk he had armed help out the door who’d start shooting if anyone called police, and so therefore start handing over the merch. I like that style. The hell with this finger-in-the-jacket-pocket shit. Just let your imaginary friend be your accomplice.

The guy made off with 100 copies of MW2, plus some other items for a total cash-and-prizes value of $6,900.

I’m not sure what surprises me the most, the ballsiness of the robber, or the fact a GameStop still had 100 copies of this 19 hours after its midnight release.

Also, please tell me the “other items” were some refurbed PS2s with balky DVD drives. Please.

Man Steals 100 Copies Of Popular Video Game From GameStop [WPXI-TV, Pittsburgh, via Destructoid]

Tuna-can Pac-Man, as seen at Walyou, via Hawty McBloggy. Original photo from March 2008.

The great thing about working weekends is I can blast gas with impunity in the Kotaku Tower elevator, and then on Monday when the car smells like Donkey Kong’s taint, Fahey gets blamed for it once Crecente comes in.

Here’s a delightful little flash game that trivializes a serious problem faced by millions of Americans - the need to fart on a long elevator ride. You’re accompanied by the most clueless olfactory-impaired elevator attendant ever, as every one I’ve ever ridden with could detect the presence of fart in concentrations as small as one poot particle per billion.

I get to about seven floors and 21,000 points before I either rip enough ass that the bellman notices or I crap my pants (that is the implied ending, I believe.) Anyone have any protips? Besides, you know, taking the stairs?

Oh, and let me tell you what else is hilarious - crop dusting Plunkett. That guy always pins it on McWhertor.

Elevator Fart [GamesGames]

Couldn’t make it to to Nintendo World Store in New York City today? Kotaku went for you and shot this nearly gaffe-free video of Nintendo’s Bill Trinen and Kit Ellis showing off a Mario Museum.

The museum was erected just outside Nintendo’s store in Rockfeller Center, a few feet from the Today Show Studios and pretty much on the spot where people stand and yell for Al Roker most weekday mornings.

There was no Roker today, but there was Trinen and Ellis, providing the following tour. We shot this just before the museum opened to Nintendo fans. Attendees were able to buy New Super Mario Bros. Wii at the store today and enter a tournament featuring the game.

A storm was picking up as we began:

A Florida teenager says he was kidnapped at gunpoint, driven to a Walmart and forced to buy his captors a PlayStation 3 for the new super-low price of $299.99. Cops have arrested one suspect.

The Naples, Fla. teen says two guys in a white pickup truck blocked his car as he tried to enter a gated community where his friend lives. Two guys, one with an assault rifle, the other with a pistol, jumped out, drove him to his stepfather’s home in another gated community to steal some jewelry. Then it was off to Walmart with stepdad’s credit card.

There, the victim says one of his captors demanded he buy him a shotgun. But it being past 8:30, the gun counter was closed. So the bandits said they’d settle for a PS3 Slim, which the victim bought. They then set him free, and he went running to the law.

Yeah, there’s been one arrest, and it sounds like there’s surveillance footage, but let’s show a little skepticism here. If this is true, two dudes just went to a hell of a lot of trouble and are facing a whale of a stay in the joint to pull off the heist of a lifetime - a PS3 - before turning loose their rich captive. Kidnapping, plus a gun crime doesn’t just get pled down to loud muffler and disorderly conduct because you netted $300 in merch. Plus there’s the matter of the suspect’s fingerprints not being found inside the house.

That doesn’t stop WBBH-TV. Be sure to watch that video. I don’t know East Naples or Immokalee from Muncie, Indiana but it sounds like the reporter’s reminding us both places are the H-double-O-D hood. And remember, “Jane,” (if that’s your real name) you’re not safe anywhere, even behind rich people gates. Another shining example of local news teaching you to hate and fear your world.

Teen Accused of Kidnapping Teen at Gunpoint, Forces Him to Buy Playstation 3 [Naples Daily News via Hot Blooded Gaming]